What's the Best Type of Massage to Get as a Couple?

The best massage for couples is usually Swedish, because the pressure adjusts for each person and neither of you has to agree on how hard is hard. Deep tissue, hot stone, Thai and aromatherapy each suit a different kind of pair, though, and the right pick depends on what the two of you actually want from the hour. Here's which one suits two people, and why, so you can choose in about five minutes and stop doing the "I don't mind" dance. If you haven't had a couples massage before, it helps to know that each of you has your own therapist, so pressure and pace can differ even when the style is the same.

Best Massage for Couples: The Five Types, Compared

Each style has a personality, and a couples massage works best when yours line up. These are the five most-asked-about, with who they suit and why.

1. Swedish: the best massage for couples who can't agree

Swedish is the plain white tee of massages: it goes with everything. It uses long, flowing strokes at a light to medium pressure, and your therapist adjusts as you go. For two people with different tastes that's the whole appeal, because each therapist works to their own person's preference and there's no wrong answer to "was that too hard?" If you're wondering what the day looks like, there's a couples massage from start to finish.

In the room with two of you: the pace is steady and quiet, so it's the easiest style to share. You won't have much to watch or hear from the other side of the room, and a bit of low music fills any gaps in conversation.

Pick it if: it's your first couples massage, you disagree about pressure or you want something easy. Skip it if: one of you is a "harder, please" type who'll feel short-changed.

2. Deep tissue: for the firm-pressure pair

Deep tissue uses slower strokes and firmer pressure, and it suits couples where both people like a strong hand. It's the style for the person who says "harder" like it's a hobby. The catch is mismatch: if one of you wants firm and the other wants gentle, you'll both enjoy a Swedish more, or you can ask whether each of you can have a different style. For where deep tissue and remedial work overlap, there's the remedial massage guide.

In the room with two of you: you may hear your partner react when a firm spot is found, a sharp breath or a muttered "ooh", and it's worth agreeing beforehand that neither of you will comment. It's a good deal funnier on the drive home than it is on the table.

Pick it if: you both like firm pressure and you're happy to say when it's too much. Better to skip if: one of you is new to massage or nervous about pressure.

3. Hot stone: for the special occasion

Hot stone uses warm, smooth stones alongside the massage, and it feels like a treat with a bit of ceremony. For two people it suits an anniversary or a celebration, since the warmth adds something an ordinary session doesn't. It needs more setup than a standard massage, so ask when you book whether it's available for your time and location, and tell your therapists if heat isn't your thing. If you'd like to make a day of it, massage and beauty on the same day is easy to plan.

In the room with two of you: expect a little extra setup at the start, so allow a few minutes before the massage begins, and agree on a lighter blanket if one of you runs warm. The stones add some theatre for both of you, so it helps if you're both comfortable with that.

Pick it if: you want it to feel like an occasion. Not for you if: warmth isn't your thing or you're short on time.

4. Thai: for couples who like to stretch

Thai massage is traditionally stretching and pressing, often on a mat, and it's the style for couples who'd rather move than lie still. It's yoga's friend who actually helps you into the stretch. The setup and clothing differ from an oil massage, so ask when you book what to wear and what to expect, and use the guide to what to wear to a couples massage as the starting point for the standard oil-massage setup.

In the room with two of you: stretching takes more floor space than lying on a table, so clear a bigger patch than you think you need. That's a lot of limbs to coordinate, so giving each other space is part of the etiquette.

Pick it if: you both enjoy movement and like the idea of a therapist guiding you through stretches. Give it a miss if: you'd both rather lie still with oil and quiet.

5. Aromatherapy: for the scent-minded

Aromatherapy uses essential oils chosen for their scent, and it suits couples who care about how a room smells. It's also the one style where a disagreement about lavender can end a conversation. Agree on a scent before the session, tell your therapists about any scent sensitivities and keep your own perfume to a minimum, because two competing fragrances in one room is a lot.

In the room with two of you: scent travels, so whatever's chosen fills the whole room for both of you, and there's no mixing and matching. If you'd like different scents, ask whether that's possible, or settle on a mild one you both like.

Pick it if: you both enjoy scent and agree on one. Leave it out if: smell bothers either of you, or one of you thinks lavender is a personality flaw.

How to Choose Between Them

Choosing together comes down to a few simple questions, and this table gives quick answers for the most common pairs.

If you want different things

Say so when you book. Many couples choose the same style, but if you'd like different ones, mention it in your booking notes and ask what's possible for your time and location. If you can't have different styles, choose the one that suits the more cautious person.

A two-minute scoring trick

If you genuinely can't agree, give each style a score from one to five, separately and without peeking. Add your scores together and the highest total wins, and a tie goes to Swedish. It sounds silly, but it turns an argument into a small game, and it shows quickly whether one of you cares more than the other.

If it's an anniversary or a gift

Pick the style that feels most like an occasion, and tell your therapists why you're booking, so they know it's a celebration. If it's a surprise, a massage gift voucher lets your partner choose the day, and a note in the card about what to expect (the style, the two therapists, the home setup) takes away the nerves before they arrive.

If you really can't decide

Pick Swedish, then use your booking notes to say what you'd like: firmer, lighter, quieter or chattier. It's the best massage for couples who can't agree, since it flexes in whichever direction you need, and you can try a different style next time with a clearer idea of what you like.

Questions to Settle Before You Book

A few minutes of talking beforehand saves a lot of awkwardness on the day.

• Pressure: do you both want light, medium or firm, and are you the same?
• Scent: is there any smell either of you dislikes or can't be around?
• Chat or quiet: do you want to talk, or stay silent? For the polite way to say it, there's couples massage etiquette.
• Music: pick a playlist, or ask for quiet, before the session starts.
• Timing: choose an hour when you won't be rushing off afterwards.
• Clothing: for an oil massage, keep your underwear on, and ask what's different if you've chosen Thai.

What to Say to Your Therapists, Word for Word

Short and polite beats long and apologetic. Here are lines you can use as they are, or change to sound like you.

None of these need an apology, and your therapists would much rather hear a plain request at the start than guess halfway through.

Plan the Rest of the Evening Around the Style

The massage is the main event, but what you do before and after helps a couples massage at home feel like a whole evening. A few ideas to match each style:

Whichever you choose, leave the hour afterwards free, and put your phones somewhere you won't hear them for a while.

A Couples Massage at Home, Without the Fuss

A couples massage booked through Blys sends two local massage therapists to your home, so you can get ready in your own bedroom and skip the travel. You choose a time, a local therapist accepts the booking and you're only charged once it's confirmed. Bookings run from 6 am to midnight, seven days a week, and the therapists are independent business owners who run their own work.

When you book, add a note about the style you'd like, any scent sensitivities and whether it's your first time, so your therapists arrive prepared. If you're still comparing home with a venue, mobile massage vs spa sets the two side by side.

Arrange Your Couples Massage at Home →